I was asked to share my testimony tonight at a small local church, alongside three of my friends that go to the same homegroup as myself.
It was a great and encouraging night and I never cease to be amazed at how God uses very ordinary people, transforms them into extra-ordinary people using extra-ordinary means and situations which all combine to tell a wonderful, unfolding story. A story that is essentially God's story.
So, here is God's story:
I grew up in a Christian home. Whilst I consider my childhood to have been a great experience, filled with fond memories that I will always treasure, I was a very unremarkable boy.
Growing up, I had always considered myself a christian. Well, why wouldn't I? Our family went to church every Sunday and we spent Christmas at christian holiday camps. Kiwi ranch in Rotorua was a particular favourite of mine. Sadly, that has long since closed.
My teen years were steady, but uneventful. Because of my regular attendance of church and the youth events, I had always believed in the existence of God. I had never believed in false theories such as evolution and the big bang.
I developed a reverence for Christ, I knew that He was the son of God and that He sacrificed Himself for the sins of the world.
I developed a reasonable head knowledge of what I heard, but that was as far as it went. I remember looking around the church and seeing people, who exhibited a real joy. A joy that I knew I didn't have.
What I never learnt, or was taught, was the majesty and holiness of God and my true position before a holy God.
I was about sixteen when I concluded that this christian life was just not for me. I stopped going to church and would not set foot in another church for twenty years.
My twenties, for the most part, was a meandering blur. I had a job that I was happy in, but didn't stretch me, I met Denise who was to become my wife and I hung out with people about whom I didn't really care much for. I wasn't desperately unhappy, but the life I led was certainly meaningless and directionless.
Denise and I married in 1996 and in December 1997, our first child, Victoria was born. Maddy followed 2 years later in 2000. I had a house, a steady job and 2 healthy girls and nothing to be ungrateful about. On the outside, you could say I had everything.
The truth is, I was living a life without true purpose, a life that was self-centered and directionless. Unbeknownst to me, even though I was alive, I was actually dead, spiritually dead.
Ephesians 2:1 describes my condition at the time. I was dead in my trespasses and sin.
And the thing is, there was actually nothing I could do about it. I was a natural man in my natural state and nothing I could have done or said could have changed this situation. In the previous couple of years, I had spurned numerous gospel attempts from one of my brothers.
So, with anyone in this state, anything could happen. And inevitably, anything did happen.
2001 was both the worst year of my life and the best year of my life. To quote Dickens, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times".
I fell further into sin that jeopardised everything that I currently had. I stood to lose my house and my family.
In this moment, as I reached my lowest point, I remember falling to my knees in my backyard and literally screamed out to God to help me. Suddenly, a thought was placed in my head to get up and go and visit my brother who lived in a town that was a four hour drive away.
With no time to waste, my wife and I left immediately where we spent the weekend talking and reading scripture with my brother and his wife. He gave me a book that, along with the Holy Spirit working through His Word changed my life. That book was "Transforming Grace" by Jerry Bridges.
I read the book cover to cover several times over the next few weeks and over this time, armed with that book and a borrowed bible, I came to realize my true position.
I came to realize that I was a sinful man, I was spiritually bankrupt and doomed. I came to realize that I was living a life that was contrary to a holy and sovereign God. I came to realize that I had nothing to offer a holy and sovereign God and that there was essentially no hope for me. But I came to realize that God initiates a way of escape for people in my situation. This way of escape was by His grace, His unmerited favour on undeserving individuals.
Ephesians 2:8-9 says "For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.'
Not long after, I was on the train making my way to work one wet and cold morning in October. The thoughts of God and His grace were swirling around in my head. Suddenly tears streamed down my face and the people that was crammed into the train that morning seemed to fade away. There was only me in that train before a holy and a righteous God. Right then, I declared before God that I was sinful man who deserved death, I confessed my sin and acknowledged that Christ was Lord and saviour and that through Him alone, I could be saved.
I believed! At last I believed and I was thrilled. I was elated. I was a new person and I could scarcely wait to get to work that morning to ring my wife and share with her my incredibly fantastic news. Miraculously, my wife was also saved. There was hope for us after all.
I was once selfish and self-centered, but I have become Christ-centered. I once desired the things of the world, but now I desire Christ. I was once a slave to sin, but now I am a slave to Christ, my Lord and my saviour. For the next few months, I experienced an insatiable appetite for Gods Word and other solid christian literature. God put before us a godly man who began to mentor us through our initial stages.
Nearly 7 years on, I am by no means a perfect man. Because of my human-ness, I still possess a sinful nature that I battle with every day of my life. This battle, I know will never cease until the Lord calls me home.
I am eternally grateful to a gracious and merciful God. A God who, despite my sin and problems, has shown me mercy and grace. Grace that I know has saved me and grace that continues to be lavished on me, by Him, every day.
I will never understand or fully comprehend Gods election of me. But that is God's grace, His unmerited favour on a undeserving man like me.
Because now of Gods grace, for the grace that I have undeservedly and freely received, I have an obligation to declare this grace to others. I have an obligation to declare the electing, saving and transforming grace I have received from a Holy and gracious God.
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